Thursday, January 25, 2007

The Library Investigator’s Name is Actually Bookman?

Hot diggity! You guys are sure driving that visitor tally up. I don't know at what point I can say that this blog is legit, but it's gotta be close, right? Either way, thanks for everyone who keeps showing up and I hope that you are enjoying the sneak peeks. I am continuing to make strides with the book and news should be coming down the pipeline in the upcoming weeks. Until then, please sit back, relax and enjoy another installment of The Seinfeld Encyclopedia.

Lt. Joe Bookman
Investigations officer for the New York Public Library for 25 years, Jerry’s Tropic of Cancer case gets turned over to him; Kramer is amazed at the name, “The library investigator’s name is actually Bookman?...That’s amazing. That’s like an ice-cream man named Cone.” When Marion the librarian informs Jerry that Mr. Bookman is not in, that he’s out on a case, Kramer is even more amazed, “He’s out on a case? He actually goes out on cases?” Eventually Bookman shows up at Jerry’s apartment and begins lecturing Jerry, “I don’t judge a man by the length of his hair or the kind of music he listens to. Rock was never my bag. But you put on a pair of shoes in the New York Public Library, fella…You’re a comedian. You make people laugh…You think this is all a big joke, don’t ya? ...You think because you’re a celebrity that somehow the law doesn’t apply to you? That you’re above the law? Well, let me tell you something, funny boy. You know that little stamp, the one that says ‘New York Public Library?’ Well, that may not mean anything to you. But that means a lot to me. One whole hell of a lot. …I’ve seen your type before. Flashy, making the scene, flaunting convention. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking: ‘Why’s this guy making such a big stink about old library books?’ Well, let me give you a hint, junior. Maybe we can live without libraries, people like you and me. Maybe. Sure, we’re too old to change the world. But what about that kid sitting down opening a book right now in a branch at the local library and finding drawings of pee-pees and wee-wees in The Cat in the Hat and The Five Chinese Brothers? Doesn’t he deserve better? Look, if you think this is about overdue fines and missing books, you better think again. This is about that kid’s right to read a book without getting his mind warped. Or maybe that turns you on, Seinfeld. Maybe that’s how you get your kicks, you and your good-time buddies. Well, I got a flash for you, joy-boy: Party time is over.” Eventually Jerry realizes that the book was never returned and pays the fine; Bookman tells Jerry, “You better not screw up again, Seinfeld. Because if you do, I’ll be all over you like a pit bull on a poodle.” Jerry then quips, “That is one tough monkey.” (22)

Thus ends another entry. So until next time dear readers, keep on spreading the word and remember to sign up on the right and get your name in the book. You'll be so famous you might as well start looking for better friends right now.


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