Oh, I Thought it Was Like an Igloo

My goodness, if a blog isn't legitimate after 1,500 visits, then something is wrong. You guys have really turned this site into something great. It has been a pleasure to come on here week after week and share with you my passion and my book. And to hear from you guys on the sign up is great. You are who I am writing this book for. The true fans, the devoted fans of Seinfeld. The fans that know the real name of the bubble boy. And with that clever segue, here's today's entry.

Donald Sanger Name of the bubble boy; Donald’s father Mel spots Jerry having lunch with Elaine at Monk’s and introduces himself; he then explains about his son, “I saw you on The Tonight Show a couple of weeks ago. I was watching the show with my son Donald. He’s got this rare immune deficiency in his blood. The damnedest thing. Doctors say he has to live in a plastic bubble. Can you imagine that? A bubble.” Jerry asks, “A bubble?” and Elaine repeats, “A bubble?” Mel explains, “Yes, a bubble…It’d break your heart seeing him in there. He’s like a prisoner. No friends. Just his mother and me. And I’m out there six days a week hauling Yoo-Hoo. We have sacrificed everything, all for the sake of our little…bubble boy.” Mel starts to tear up, as does Elaine; she hands a napkin to Mel, and one to Jerry, but he uses it to wipe his mouth; Mel continues, “Anyway, we were watching you on TV…” but Jerry interrupts, “You get in the bubble with him?” Mel explains, “No. He can see through the bubble, it’s plastic,” and Jerry says, “Oh, I thought it was like an igloo.” Mel states, “No, it’s clear.” After discussing who has the remote, Mel says, “So anyway, you’re his favorite comedian. He laughed so hard the other night we had to give him an extra shot of hemoglobin…Tomorrow is his birthday. And it would mean so much to him if you could find it in your heart to pay him a visit and just say hello.” Jerry is hesitant because he has plans to go away for the weekend, but Elaine says he would be happy to do it; Jerry says okay and asks, “Where do you live? Uptown? Up Westside?” Mel replies, “No. Upstate.” Jerry is depressed that he’ll have to miss out on the cabin weekend until Susan sees the address and explains that’s right on the way; all Jerry has to do is follow George and Susan there, say hello for 20 minutes and that’s it; en route to the house, George drives too fast and he loses Jerry; he and Susan arrive and then have to sit around with the Sangers; George asks, “Can you go in the bubble?” and Mrs. Sanger replies, “Well, you have to put so many things on because of the germs.” Mel adds, “The gloves, the mask, it’s a whole production.” George and Susan eventually do meet Donald and he is rather rude, even asking Susan to take her top off; Mrs. Sanger suggests they play Trivial Pursuit, but George says they have to be running; Donald tells George, “I’m gonna kick your ass,” and he agrees to play; however, when Donald goes for the win and answers “The Moors” for the question “Who invaded Spain in the 8^th Century?” George tells him he’s wrong, since the card says “The Moops.” Then they get into a fight over who is right, and Donald starts to strangle George, yelling, “There’s no Moops, you idiot!” Susan tries to help George, prying Donald’s arms off his neck and pounding on the plastic divider; Donald continues to yell, “I’m gonna kill him! Say Moors!” George is just able to squeak out “Moops,” and Susan continues to slam on the plastic; that is, until a loud hissing sound is heard and Donald’s arms start going limp; word spreads to the diner down the road where Jerry and Elaine ended up that the bubble boy is being rushed to the hospital; they arrive and see George who says the bubble boy tried to kill him; Donald is then wheeled out on a stretcher and Jerry wishes him a happy birthday; Donald says, “Thanks for showing up. You know, your friend here tried to kill me.” George snaps back, “He’s a lying little snot. And he’s a cheater, aren’t you, you little twerp!” The two continue to go back and forth over the Moops/Moors issue, but then an angry mob shows up and chases Jerry, Elaine, Susan and George out of town (45)

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