Saturday, July 28, 2007

Why's My Book Great? Lemme List the Ways

No time for pleasantries, this is gonna be a long entry. Here we go. One of the things that my book will feature is a section entitled Entries Listed by Episode. Essentially, you can turn to this section, look up an episode, say, The Junior Mint, and see every entry from that specific show, rather than flip through the entire book. Allow me to demonstrate. But in doing so, I will also compare my book with the 1993 Entertainment Weekly book: The Seinfeld Companion. My long term readers will remember when I compared entries of my book with the same entries from the EW book. And you will also remember that I never mean to knock that book, I like it, I own two copies. I just like showing how much better my book will be. I mean, that EW book doesn't even have a listed by episode section. I gotta go through and find each one myself. Hope you appreciate all of this. Up first, the EW book's entries from the classic episode The Chinese Restaurant.

  • Bermuda Triangle
  • Cartwright
  • Cookies
  • Mahatma Gandhi
  • Impending Intestinal Requirement
  • Plan 9 From Outer Space
  • We're Living in a Society!
That's it! And now, my list:
  • 5, 10 Minutes
  • $20
  • $50
  • Bathroom
  • Batman
  • Bermuda Triangle
  • Bribe
  • Bruce
  • Cab
  • Cartwright
  • Lorraine Catalano
  • Chinese Food
  • Mr. Cohen
  • Cookies
  • Cops
  • Dennison
  • Fast
  • Mahatma Gandhi
  • Garbagemen
  • Hot Dogs
  • Hunan 5th Ave
  • Kekich
  • Lashbrook
  • Menu
  • Money
  • Phone
  • Plan 9 from Outer Space
  • Popcorn
  • Restaurant
  • Skyburger
  • Table
  • Tatiana
  • We’re Living in a Society
  • Whole Sea Bass Dinner
Now some of you more diligent readers may be shouting, "Hey, the EW book listed 'Impeding Intestinal Requirement' and you didn't. What gives?" While this is true, this bit of dialogue from George is indeed included but under the entry for Bathroom. So there we have it. But you folks don't visit this site just for lists. How bout a sneak peek! Well, I mentioned Junior Mints earlier, so here you go.

Junior Mints Kramer is invited to watch Roy Cordic’s splenectomy surgery from a viewing gallery and convinces Jerry to join him; while watching, Kramer takes out a box of candy and eats a few; noticing this, Jerry asks, “What are you eating?” and Kramer explains, “Junior Mints. You want one?” Jerry says no; Kramer then eats a few more and Jerry inquires, “Where’d you get those?” Kramer tells him, “The machine. You want one?” Again, Jerry says no, but Kramer says, “Here. Take one.” Jerry asserts, “I don’t want one,” and Kramer states, “No, they’re good. Take one.” Jerry replies, “I don’t want any,” and Kramer insists, “Just take one.” Annoyed, Jerry exclaims, “No. Stop. Kramer, stop it.” He shoves Kramer’s hand out of his face which causes the Junior Mint to fly up into the air and fall into the operating area; all the doctors look around to see what just happened; Jerry and Kramer quickly look around as well to see if anyone noticed; Jerry silently asks, “Did it go in?” and Kramer says, with a gulp, “Yes.” Later, Jerry tells the story to George, explaining, “Over the balcony, bounced off some respirator thing, into the patient!” George asks, “What do you mean, ‘into the patient’?” Jerry exclaims, “Into the patient, literally!” George inquires, “Into the hole?” and Jerry confirms, “Yes! The hole!” George wonders, “Didn’t they notice it?” and Jerry says no; George says, “How could they not notice it?” and Jerry quips, “Because it’s a little mint. It’s a Junior Mint.” George then asks, “Well, what did they do?” and Jerry replies, “They sealed him up with the mint inside.” George questions, “They left the Junior Mint in him? …Well, I guess it can’t hurt him. People eat pounds of those things.” Jerry stipulates, “Yes, they eat them. They don’t put them next to vital organs in their abdominal cavity!” Kramer then enters and Jerry tells him, “Why’d you force that mint on me? I told you I didn’t want the mint!” Kramer explains, “What? I didn’t believe you,” and Jerry asks, “How could you not believe me?” Kramer states, “Well, who’s gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It’s chocolate, it’s peppermint. It’s delicious.” Jerry comments, “That’s true.” Kramer adds, “It’s very refreshing.” Elaine then returns from the hospital and reports, “He’s not doing well. The doctors don’t know what it is. They’re baffled.” Kramer and Jerry turn to each other and state at the same time, “Oh, my God.” When Elaine leaves the room, Jerry frantically tells Kramer, “What are we gonna do? We gotta confess?” Kramer tells him, “We could be tried for murder,” and Jerry replies, “I can’t have this on my conscience.” Kramer states, “You’re not gonna say anything, you got that?” and Jerry says, “I’m telling and you can’t stop me.” Kramer exclaims, “No, you’re not!” Later, Jerry’s girlfriend comes over and he tries to figure out her name by looking in her purse; when she catches him, he explains he was just looking for some gum or a mint; when she tells him, “Oh, I have Junior Mints,” a startled Jerry throws the purse to her, shouting, “No!” Eventually, the guilt gets to Jerry and he decides to call the hospital to explain what happened; but when he does, he is told that Roy is gonna be okay; the gang visits Roy and soon Dr. Siegel comes in and says, “I have no medical evidence to back me up, but something happened during the operation that staved off that infection. Something beyond science. Something perhaps…from above.” Kramer then pulls out a box of Junior Mints from his pocket and offers, “Mint?” Dr. Siegel accepts, saying, “Those can be very refreshing.” (58)

Finally, we have reached the end. But before I go, let me remind everyone to click the link on the right and get your name in the book. But more important, if and when I self publish, I will only be telling the people who have signed up where to find the book. So get a'clickin'. Later!

Saturday, July 14, 2007

4,000 Hits? I'm Way Past Due for an Oil Change

Gracious, over 4000 visits. A real red letter day. Certainly deserving of an entry, wouldn't you say? Me too. It's a quick one, but quite fitting.

$4,000 How much Jerry estimates it will cost George for minor surgery and an overnight stay at the hospital; when George hears it will only cost $38 to go to holistic healer Tor Eckman he says, “Oh yeah. Holistic. That’s what I need. That’s the answer.” (13)

  • After George passes on a $13,000 offer from NBC, he has to scramble to fix his mistake and ends up settling for an $8,000 deal; this means Jerry and George only get $4,000 each; later, when Jerry gives his father a wallet as a gift, to replace the one he lost, everyone fawns over Jerry and how terrific he is; even George says, “You’re very special,” and Jerry quips back, “Yeah, I’m good for about $4,000.” (44)
I thought I should also inform you all of my progress. At the moment, I am 1/3 of the way finished of chronicling all the episodes. My goal is to be finished and have the book available by Christmas 2008. Now this is the plan if I have to self publish. However, if I my last attempt at getting the rights is accepted, then who knows. But come hell or high water, this book will be available some how, some way. And if I do self publish, it will only be available to people who have signed up, so do that now! The link is on the right.

Oh, and if you ever need to resign up because your email has changed, I mean, December 08 is a long time away, that will be no problem. Just say in the comment space: New Email. Okay, that's all for now. Take it easy.

Monday, July 02, 2007

Get Your Oohs and Aahs Ready

July is here and summer is well under way. We also got the most patriotic holiday of the year coming up, the fourth of July. Sorry Flag Day, Labor Day and Veteran's Day. Try a little harder next year. Because of this occasion, I have decided to do something a little special for this blog post. I will showcasing a couple of entries from episodes I have not completed yet. Usually, I just go into one of my word files and pluck out an entry and paste it on here. Not tonight. It's all fresh and relatively live. Hopefully you get to read this before heading off to your cabin or family lake that you no doubtably have. Remember, fireworks kill. No wait, I think I have that wrong. I think it's actually "Remember, fireworks are awesome and make you cool." On with the fun!!!

Fireworks When Kramer hears that Jerry is going to pick up Elaine at the airport, he incredulously asks, "What, she's been away?" Jerry explains, "She's been in Mexico for six weeks," and Kramer replies, "No, I really think you're wrong. We just went to the fireworks the other day." Jerry tells him, "That was July 4th!" (127)
  • Realizing she has the same tastes in movies as Vincent, a clerk at Champagne Videos, Elaine becomes infatuated with him; when he calls her, she wants to meet with him, but he declines, saying, "I can't bear to have anyone see me." She talks him into it and he agrees , but asks that she bring him some things from the store; when she arrives, Elaine runs into Vincent's mother and discovers that Vincent is really a teenager; the mother grabs the bag Elaine is holding and angrily asks, "What do you have there? Vodka, cigarettes, fireworks? What kind of a sick woman brings this to a fifteen year old?" (139)
  • After obtaining Frank Costanza's old screen door and installing it in his apartment, Kramer adopts a relaxed, country lifestyle; while passing by, Jerry asks, "You barbecuing tonight?" and Kramer informs him, "Right after the fireworks." Soon, when Jerry opens his door, he spots Kramer sitting in a lawn chair holding a lit sparkler (151)
Independence Day When George learns that Kramer's coffee table book has been optioned for a movie, he asks, "How are they gonna make that book into a movie?" Kramer says, "You remember that photo book on toy ray guns?...Independence Day." (163)

So there we have it! Two brand new holiday themed entries available only on The Seinfeld Encyclopedia Blog. I hope you all have a wonderful fourth of July with your friends and family. Thanks again for stopping by and as always, be sure to click the link on the right to get your name in the book. We've already had over 200 sign-ups which is absolutely incredible. Don't you want to be part of the fun? That's right, you do. Later!